The Great Tetris War of 2011
Listening to: The Mountain Goats, “Collapsing Stars”
There’s a war being waged in my living room. It’s one of a long line of wars that have come and gone over the past several years: the Epic SSX Tricky War of 2005 (which began when Husband told me, “You probably won’t be very good at this game”. That’s a sure way to make me kick your butt), the Wii Fit Plus Hula Hoop War of 2010 (which was the most physically painful of all the wars), and the ongoing Super Mario Bros. Coin Battle/Free-for-All Modes War.
The war in question began in 2010, when we discovered that Tetris was available for the Wii. Now, to fully understand this, you must know my history with Tetris. My family, when I was young, treated Tetris like a religion. My mom and my older sister constantly battled for the high score.* I think in the end, my sister ended up being the all-time victor, with a score no one could possibly top. After all that, the famous Tetris song is ingrained in my head forever and ever. This version of the song, in particular, gave me great joy and also a neverending earworm.
Husband’s family, meanwhile, went all-in for Pac-Man in the early days of gaming, and Husband quickly graduated to other games where he could enact more violence than simply eating a ghost.**
Fast-forward to present day. We discover that we can not only play Tetris, but we can compete with each other.
And thus the war begins.
At first, I am the clear victor. I spend more time practicing than he did, as I find playing Tetris tends to calm me when I got stressed or upset.
However, Husband is sneaky. He discovered several special weapons in the form of power-ups that can be deployed in Vs. mode. He is especially fond of throwing two power-ups at me in quick succession, so that I have to deal with the second before I’ve finished with the first. For instance, he’ll use the “fog up the screen” power-up, which requires the recipient to shake the wii remote to disperse the fog obscuring the screen, and then throw the “pieces come down super fast” weapon at me before I’ve cleared the screen.
He is a devious, devious man.
And slowly, he is catching up to me. He’s getting better at inching away from defeat when his lines near the top. He’s getting better at taking advantage of the extra lines that build up on his screen every time I get a Tetris, and using those extra lines to get Tetrises of his own, which in turn throws my screen into anarchy.
And I do believe he’s in league with the cats, who seem to want to walk all over me and impede my view every freakin’ time we play.
Currently, our records stand at 512 games won (me) to 245 games won (him). The other night, he won four games out of five, so I can’t expect to hold my (astronomical, hehe, TAKE THAT SWEETIE) record for too much longer.
Yes, that’s a LOT of games. This is just one way of bonding with each other, chilling out after a long day, spending quality time as a couple.
Of course, our quality time in this case includes a lot of trash talk and a merciless, war-like mindset.
That’s just what we do.
Have video games resulted in all-out war in your household, or with your friends? More importantly, WHO WON?!
Next post: probably my favorite 80s movie quotes, since I watched Heathers again last week.
*Hm. I guess this isn’t really like a religion at all. I’m keeping this in, though, to see how many people pick at it.
**Although I guess it’s pretty violent from the ghost’s point of view. And don’t get me wrong, Husband is not abnormally attracted to violence. His favorite thing to do in GTA is stand on a car with a chainsaw and see how long it takes the car’s occupants to flee. I have heard him maniacally laughing during long sessions of his chainsaw-car-evacuation game. It’s really amusing to watch.