So I’m starting this novel for the third time. I keep on starting it, getting a few thousand words in, and realizing I want to change something huge–like the POV or something.
Unlike previous novels, which I would always want to “reboot” when I got to the middle or so, I’m not second-guessing myself when I start over. I just keep on writing until it feels right. On this third try, I think it feels right, because I’m finally excited about the story, and my writer-brain is kicking in. You know, the part of your brain that starts creating dialog or devising plot elements when you’re watching TV or driving. I love my writer-brain. I missed it so, for the many years it was gone. The past year-and-a-half, during which I found what I truly love to write and my writer-brain returned from its lengthy vacation, has been truly wonderful. I find myself once again looking forward to writing and using it as a reward–e.g., “You can write once you’ve cleaned the bathroom.”
I think that the lack of second-guessing means something. It means I’m progressing as a writer, because I’m willing to take risks and “waste time” until I get the freaking thing right. Rather than vacillating over this choice or that one, I just plow through with fingers crossed, knowing that I can change it all later. Revision has become a huge part of my writing.
This is a weird, rambly post. Sorry for that, my brain is in a weird place right now. And I’m off to clean the bathroom.