Cat Games

My cat and I have several games we like to play together. Usually, we play sometime in the latter part of the morning or early afternoon, depending on when I get sick of his constant mewing. Some of them, however, are not in any way initiated by me or The Husband, and are, in fact, very unpleasant.

Throw-and-Run-Past: Human throws a toy, or even just a random object, up the stairs. Cat bolts up the stairs as if on fire, only to run past the object and into one of the upstairs rooms. Human comes upstairs, tantalizes him with object, and then throws it down the stairs. Cat bolts down the stairs as if being chased by an invisible Doberman, only to run past the object and hide in the living room. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Chase-and-Run-Past: Similar to above, except that the toy in question is on a string, and the game area encompasses the entire house. If Cat does, in fact, grow brave enough to enter the same room as the toy, he will hide under or behind furniture. This variation has more potential for visual entertainment, as the entire first floor of our house has wood laminate flooring, and nothing skids on a slippery surface with as much unintentional grace as a cat.

BlanketMouse: There is a mouse under the comforter–except there isn’t, it’s a human hand or a cat toy, bumbling merrily along under the covers until it runs straight into the cat. Cat then attacks BlanketMouse. BlanketMouse struggles valiantly, but eventually succumbing to Cat’s mighty deathgrip. Repeat, with occasional instances in which BlanketMouse gets brave and wanders out from his comfy comforter home.

Hey, That Toy Doesn’t Go There: This game can be played by whomever is going up the stairs. Cat has a particular toy consisting of a small, round, carpeted platform, to which is attached a long spring topped by a stuffed star. If the cat finds said toy at the top of the stairs, and is in the mood to be annoyed (this is frequent), he will drag-push-nudge it all the way to the bottom…and sometimes through the living room and dining room, and into the kitchen. In one memorable instance, he tried to drag it through the cat-door that he uses to get to the basement. Cat may take a while to participate in the game, once the toy has been placed at the top of the stairs, but when he does, you will know by the signature thump-thump-thumpthumpthump that marks his turn.

There’s a Human in This Bed, and I Don’t Like it: This game, strictly nocturnal, is not played as frequently as the others–thank goodness. In this game, Cat decides that the humans in the bed aren’t being as vigilant as they should, and it is his sacred duty to keep them on their toes. The object of this game, for Cat, is as follows:

  1. Leap onto the bed in a single bound, landing on some sensitive area of first human.
  2. Use first human as a springboard to the second human, on which he must land on another sensitive area. Chest, kidney, groin–it doesn’t matter. As long as they make a funny noise.
  3. Jump to the floor and run from the room before they can enact their vengeance.

The object of this game, for the humans, is to not sustain fatal damage.

The Floor is Made of Lava: Also a nocturnal game, best played in the very early morning hours. The title is self-explanatory, but in case it is not: Cat must traverse the room without touching the floor. Bonus points if he can knock something large and heavy off a dresser.

And, finally…

That Toy is Boring, but Your Hand is Not: In which Cat decides he would rather eat the human’s hand. Bonus points for kicking/scratching/destroying an arm while feasting.

I’d love to get a second cat, but I’m not sure what the outcome would be. Either Cat would have someone his own size to play with…or he would have a teammate in his strange, crazy games. Until I can be certain of my own, and my husband’s, safety, I will consider one feline plenty.

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